Strange Things that Turn Me On

I’m in the backyard this morning, hanging sheets on the clothesline. It’s a perfectly crisp, mid-March day - the sky a stark blue and little racy strands of clouds. The air is so clean and sharp. It’s the champagne of all air. Suddenly, as I pin one end of my white sheet to the line, I feel surprisingly turned on – like aroused, sexually. Something about the external stimuli overtook me and I feel sensually overwhelmed.

It got me thinking of other random turn-ons that have little to do with writhing bare bodies and all. I remember being turned on once while making pesto. Yep, pesto – like for pasta. Standing at the counter in my kitchen, old 40’s music drifting from the radio. I began blending basil leaves with those little nuts - pignoli nuts, right? Oh, yes. And olive oil. All the while drinking this rich, dark beer. The scent was transcendent, the atmosphere perfect. Wham. Turned on like a light switch.

Chocolate and good red wine – a tried and true recipe for most, no? Same holds true with a lovely fire burning. Mix the three together and I’m as easy as Sunday morning.

Surfing - easily the more sexy sport. It certainly beats golf and bowling in the titillation department. Tennis surprisingly has its share of turn-on appeal in it – in its own methodical, hard-hitting way.

A hot bath could fit the bill - pretty sexy but in a more hypnotic way. Every time I take a bath, I bring a book or a magazine in with me but I never end up reading it. Once I sink into the water, I’m mesmerized. I glaze over, thinking of...pesto and fire.

Peppermint tea, cocoa butter, the smell of pine or eucalyptus, someone whispering something in my ear or playing with my hair, my old English teacher, black and white movies, priests, vampires, laughing really hard, putting makeup on men, a kitten purring next to your face, blankets (but a really good blanket, not just any old one), Sherlock Holmes, hickies, wasabi and raw fish, Michael Moriarty's acting style in the early years of Law and Order, the smell of a fetid bay, destruction, a horn section, the word “effervescent.”

And how about a little subservience? Like when you are told what to do but not in that standard S & M “get on your knees” way." (Though that certainly has its place.) Someone casually telling you, “Go get me a drink.” Like they feel comfortable enough to make a demand of you. I know it’s a fine line, but it’s nice to see some occasional possessiveness and grabbing and bossing. Taking what is yours, in a sense – that can be sexy in doses.

And then there’s sex. Sex turns me on sexually. The kind of sex you’re thinking about several days later, while a friend is telling you about some dental work she's having done and you keep saying “Uh huh, uh huh…” but you’re really thinking of that one moment when he grabbed your hair and stuck his tongue…and then she asks you a question that you’re forced to answer and you don’t really know how to answer because you haven’t really been listening so you say “Hmm...” because that seems like a neutral enough response to fit most situations.

Oh yes, sheets blowing in the wind.

The world is our oyster, friends.