Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Dear Eminem

I've been writing to Eminem recently, via his MySpace comments page. Why? I don't know!! What do I look like, your personal Answer Queen? Sorry.... I guess because he listens (just look at that concerned look on his face!) He doesn't judge me. He doesn't talk back. He's like the big brother I never had. Its not like I'm even a big fan of Eminem or even rap for that matter. I just find it amusing/comforting revealing my weekly trials and tribulations to Eminem. That's all.

So here was my latest comment left to Eminem on his MySpace page:

Dear Eminem:

Just wanted to let you know that my recent move from one lousy Brooklyn neighborhood to another lousy Brooklyn neighborhood went off without a hitch. Well, there was one small problem - I thought I was moving into a safer apartment building on the morning I moved, I noticed a gunshot thru the glass in the entryway, bullet lying there and all. I figured it was the neighborhood trying to welcome me in its own special way. What do you think?

Whatever. I don't want you to worry about me. Focus on yourself right now. And I do hope you're taking care of yourself - drinking water and taking the time for a big, deep breath.

Love and kisses,

Beth Mann

PS. Remember I told you how my health insurance company wouldn't cover my latest annual gyn exam? Well, apparently, they said I made the appointment ONE MONTH too early than I should have and I am now responsible for the $230 appointment. Can you believe it? Again...don't worry your pretty little head.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Sexy dream This Morning starring Hugh Laurie

So Hugh Laurie (the guy from House - mad crush) and I are in some small building in a snowy field. Quarters are very tight and everything we do is in very close proximity of one another; imagine being in alarge closet with someone. He speaks and I don't know him very well, but am impressed by how intelligent he comes across...and how damn hot he is...I LOVE HIM OKAY?

Sooo....he leans over me to get something and I smell him for the first time up close, you know...the way someone smells and its...I LOVE HIM. He smells good - like something virile and sexy and mossy or...or...good. Huh? I suddenly kiss him on his neck as he leans over me and my lips are hot and his neck smells good and I can't stop by myself. And he's just fine with it...he's very relaxed and casual about it.

Maybe in heaven you get to bang all these people. Beth...inappropriate. Oh well. No one is reading anyway. Bang, bang, bang away!!!!!!